I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
