gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
