Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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