I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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