I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
