that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
