I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
