What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
