Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
