is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
