can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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