hotel room ftw
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
