Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
