Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
