I think I am morally bankrupt
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
