I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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