No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
