We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
