Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
