Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
