my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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