you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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