Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
