found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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