i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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