he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
