Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
