okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
