My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
