I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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