You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
