we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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