I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
