Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm bleeding and have questions
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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