Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize