Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize