id be glad to
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
