this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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