Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
