she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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