No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
