Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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