That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
