All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
