I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
