An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
as a side note pls kill me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
