But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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