Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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