Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize