I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize