I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
