didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
