Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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