Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
