he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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