i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
