i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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