i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
