stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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